Not sure what to make of this attempt.
I put on the 20 min drum track from the Ingerman book and laid on the floor this time. I covered my head with a black t-shirt to darken things in case I opened my eyes and to keep the light out. I started by hanging my arm over my eyes, but that seemed to be too uncomfortable. I then reverted to the old Tshirt trick.
As for my journey, I still have problems selecting a hole in the ground that I know. I cannot seem to conjure up an image consciously that I can recall, but instead a fabricated image pops up. It is a hole in the middle of green earth – I stared at it a bit to try and gather the details as was suggested by Harner in his book.
I can’t seem to be patient enough to walk down the tunnel – it is like my mind or something in me skips ahead to the end of the tunnel. But this time, there didn’t seem to be a clear destination.
It almost seems like the rational mind cannot comprehend entirely the journey, that it is seen with a different part of one’s consciousness. Indeed, the sub – consciousness as it were. I will describe what I saw, felt, heard, etc. here in the hope that they might make sense later.
At one point, I recall seeing a reptilian like animal slither slowly toward me on all fours. It got closer and closer and ever so slowly. I felt fear in my body and told it to come down, be strong, and face your fear. Perhaps it was a test? Not sure. But I asked if it was my teacher, and it kept coming toward me almost engulfing me in some way – not like it ate me, but like it merged within my mind’s eye. Then, it seemed to turn into this bird like creature, too. Then I was bombarded with many different forms – like a forest in the mind. I couldn’t extrapolate anything, seemed like everything was mixed and jumbled together.
The next point I remember is a strange series of rings of color. It was a group of concentric circles each glowing like an electric rainbow in the form of a triceratops. Almost like a 3D skeleton mock up for some video game – it was on a black background.
I drifted in and out of consciousness – beta state? – and felt the drumming vibrate my body. I kept trying to focus but I couldn’t trust myself and what I was experiencing. Not so sure I experienced anything or if it was just my mind telling me things.
One thing I did experience was I was told I was a very strong spirit and there was a sense of waiting for the right moment – things were being prepared but perhaps not ready? I felt a strange mix of surprise and validation – that these thoughts have been with me my entire life, but somehow the realization was kind of ticklish in a way. It made me feel proud and embarrassed but also alive with purpose. Something is looming. There has always been a sense in my mind that something was looming on the horizon of my life, some big purpose that I am too ashamed and scared to take on. Ashamed is not the right word, but some kind of sense where one is embarrassed at being important. Not that I really feel my importance is significant as there is great humility there, too. We are all connected and the idea of importance is an illusion – perhaps designed to teach me a lesson?
At any rate, we’ll try again later. I still have yet to locate my teacher/power animal.